Téya Ismael

Digital Humanities (2021 - 2023)

Téya enjoys reading, acting, and writing. Her career goals are to become an Actress and a Writer. Téya entered this competition with the hopes of improving her writing, as well as gaining experience.

What Poetry means to Me... “Poetry gives me a voice. It allows my mind to be free and wander into infinity. It gives me a sense of expression”.

teya ismael

Who Is She? by Téya Ismael

Who is she?
I can’t remember her name,
But
I remember when she just came.
For my once bright world had become so dull.
She didn’t just appear like the morning sun,
she crept on me like a snake in the shadows,
she emerged with time,
like a bucket being filled with droplets of water,
that now feels like an everflowing stream
She planted her seed so she could grow.
She was no beautiful blossom.
But like a sore, that won’t heal.

I remember the chokehold she had on me,
suffocation is what I felt.
as her vines of deceit wrapped around me.
Breathing slowly became faint.
Her veins poisoned me
darkening my very existence
I can remember it all.
My vision which was so clear,
was now tainted in hate
Caused me to question myself,
my identity,
my existence.
How she drained my temple,
eliminating everything.
No Energy,
just a void.

Who is she?
Yes, You!
Who are you?
How do you have such control over me?
like weeds spreading through a field
How can you make me feel so much?
and yet nothing at all.
I even began to doubt my sanity.
Cause I was now a soul trapped
fighting for control
I could no longer recognize my reflection.
It was like staring at a stranger.
Where was that smile?
The sparkle in my eyes?

You did not come alone.
Your twin sister was always nearby.
your greatest companion.
Suicide
That’s what you called her.
She would sing to me.
It was always songs of pity.
Her voice called to me.
Hypnotizing me.
Though her voice meant danger.
Her sound was of God’s Angels.
She was a siren attracting her prey.

Her melodies ravaged my thoughts.
Suffering,
Self Loathing,
Disappointment,
This was her vocation.
melodies of death.
Her songs wrapped their way to my mind
Twisting my thoughts.
stifling any sane thinking I had left
Crazed is how I felt.
I struggled,
waltzing away to her tunes,
It felt like this flit would never end.
Maybe it's because I never wanted it to.
As thoughts of death seem to comfort me.

Together, you all sent my mind into a frenzy.
Hell to me is no longer a fiery pit.
But the mental agony I face on a daily.
Despite all this,
you were still the main character in my story.
Nobody could take your power.
Nobody could make me feel the way you did,
So Senseless,
So Worthless,
So Grimm.

Breaking free seemed impossible.
I wondered how I did it.
I wonder how I took the first step,
Admission.
It created fresh soil so I can regrow,
a flower blossoming in the darkness.
Finally, a glimmer of hope.
It gave me courage
Strength to face you on the battlefield.

I must admit.
You fought a good fight.
You had everyone fooled
An imposter trying to be me.
But I faced you,
going deep within
cutting away at your vines.
weakening you to the core.
At last,
My world doesn't seem so grey.

*Pondering*

I Remember.
I remember your name now.
Depression.
Yes,
That’s your name
That’s who you are.

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